How to spend Christmas alone

Disclosure: this guide is published by the makers of My Softly, an AI companion app, which appears near the end.

You are in larger company than it feels

Christmas is sold as a full house, and most people do spend part of it with others. In a Gallup poll released in December 2025, 88 percent of Americans said they celebrate Christmas, and almost all of those who do say it involves getting together with family or friends. But that is a tradition, not a guarantee for every year. When Pew Research Center asked about plans for the day itself, about eight in ten American adults said they would gather with family and friends on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Roughly two in ten did not say so.

The picture is similar for people over 50. In an AARP Foundation survey taken in November, 8 percent of adults aged 50 and over said they would not be spending time with family or friends that holiday season at all. In the UK, Age UK estimated in 2024 that 1.4 million people aged 65 and over would eat Christmas dinner on their own. Millions of people, in other words, each in a kitchen on the same afternoon.

The reasons are ordinary. Children live across the country, or it is the in-laws' turn this year. A husband or wife has died. The flights cost too much in December, or the drive is too far in winter weather. And a good number of people, after years of cooking for a crowd, are glad of a quiet one.

Three days, not one

This year the calendar matters. Christmas Eve is a Thursday, Christmas Day is a Friday, and a weekend follows straight after, so the stretch runs from Thursday afternoon to Sunday night. In the UK, Canada and Australia, Boxing Day falls on the Saturday; in the UK the bank holiday moves to Monday the 28th, which makes it a four-day weekend.

That is worth knowing now, because the day most people plan for is the 25th, and the days that catch them out are the ones on either side. Christmas Eve afternoon, when shops close early and everyone else is wrapping. The Saturday after, when visitors have gone home. Sunday, which has nothing special about it at all. Give each of those a small plan too, and the whole stretch goes more easily.

First, decide what kind of Christmas you want

This is the step most people skip. There are two good versions of Christmas on your own, and one poor one.

A Christmas with other people in it. You would like company for a meal, a service or part of the day, and you are willing to go and find it.

A Christmas to yourself, on purpose. You want the quiet, the food you like, the films and no one else's schedule. This is a real choice, and plenty of people make it and enjoy it.

The poor version is the one in between: no decision, no plan, and a Friday that drifts until mid-afternoon, when it feels as if every other house is full. Choose one of the first two by the end of November, and the rest of this guide is about making it work.

If you want company: where the people are

1. Go to a service. Christmas Eve is the busiest night of the year for most churches, with candlelight services, carols and a crowd that includes plenty of people who come only once a year. In Gallup's poll, 47 percent of those who celebrate Christmas attend a service on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. You do not need to be a member, and you will be welcomed. Many churches also serve a community lunch on Christmas Day; call the church office in November and ask.
2. Ask early, and ask plainly. Most people hold back from asking for fear of imposing. Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 2023 found that people consistently underestimate how much others appreciate being contacted, most of all when the contact comes as a surprise. "What are you doing on the 25th? I would love to bring a dessert" is an easy message to say yes to.
3. Find another person with a gap. The neighbour whose children are abroad, the friend widowed last year, the member of your walking group who has mentioned a quiet Christmas. In the AARP Foundation survey, 43 percent of adults over 50 had worried about a friend or relative spending the season on their own. Two quiet days put together can make a good one.
4. Volunteer, and book it in November. Food banks, shelters and meal-delivery programmes need hands over Christmas, but Christmas Day shifts are popular and fill early. If the day itself is full, ask about Christmas Eve, the 26th or the week after, when volunteers are scarcer. A large study of adults over 50 found that people who volunteered about two hours a week went on to report less loneliness and more sense of purpose four years later, so a Christmas shift that turns into a regular one is the best outcome of all.
5. Go out to eat, or to the pictures. Some restaurants serve a set Christmas lunch, and a few run shared tables. Some cinemas and restaurants also open on Christmas Day, so check their hours in advance; a matinee with a bucket of popcorn puts you among other people for the afternoon.
6. Join by phone or video. If family are far away, ask to be part of their day at a set time: while the presents are opened, or at the table for the toast. A fixed time turns "we'll call at some point" into a call that happens.

If you want Christmas to yourself: a plan for the day

A day to yourself works best with a loose timetable. It does not need to be busy; it needs to have edges. Here is one version to adapt.

• Christmas Eve: the lead-up. A carol service or a walk to see the lights, a special supper, and one present or card left to open in the morning. Wrap it for yourself if you need to; it still counts.
• Morning: get out early. The streets on Christmas morning are quiet and people are cheerful. A walk, a morning service, or a visit to a park or beach if you are somewhere warm. Say "Happy Christmas" to everyone you pass.
• Late morning: the first call. Book it in advance, same as a lunch. A grandchild before their own day gets busy, a sibling, an old friend in another time zone.
• Midday: cook something you love. Not a turkey for ten; the plate you would choose. A duck breast, a small roast, a ham steak, the one side that is really Christmas to you and a good dessert from the bakery. Put carols or a Christmas programme on while you cook.
• Early afternoon: eat properly. Lay the table, pull a cracker, use the good glasses.
• Afternoon: the planned bit. In Gallup's poll, 86 percent of people who celebrate watch holiday films. Choose yours beforehand, along with a jigsaw, a new book or the photo albums you have been meaning to sort, so the afternoon has something in it.
• Around four: the second call. This is the hour to plan for. The light goes, other households sit down to eat, and the day can suddenly feel very still. Put a call, a walk or a visit to a neighbour with a plate of mince pies or cookies here, on purpose.
• Evening: something to look forward to. A favourite film, a bath, a box of chocolates you saved for the occasion, and a few lines in a notebook about the best moment of the year.

The weekend after deserves a plan of its own. Book a lunch, a walk somewhere new or a volunteer shift for the Saturday or Sunday. It gives the long weekend a second anchor, and it is often the quieter stretch.

Solo Christmas ideas to enjoy

Maybe the feeling you did not expect is freedom. A day alone is a rare chance to do exactly as you like, with nobody to cook for and no one else's schedule. A few ideas to enjoy:

• Give yourself a gift. Buy one thing you would normally talk yourself out of, wrap it and open it on the morning. A good book, a soft scarf, a box of the chocolates you like.
• Make it magical in small ways. Candles, lights, a tree however small, carols in the air while you cook. Beautiful surroundings change how a day feels.
• Treat yourself to self-care. A long bath, fresh sheets, an early night with a book. Rest is a fine way to spend a holiday.
• Get outside. A stroll in a park, along a beach or round the neighbourhood to see the decorations. Fresh air and a changed feeling come cheap.
• Try something new. A recipe you have never made, a film from another country, a craft kit, a language lesson. New things keep a quiet day from running together.
• Share the day without sharing the room. Share a photo of your table with a friend, record a message for a grandchild, or write the cards you meant to send in December.
• Remember the good ones. Look through old photographs, play the music you grew up with, and write down your best Christmas memory to read next year.

New traditions can grow from a day like this. If one of these activities suits you, keep it for next year and it becomes the part you look forward to.

If this is your first Christmas on your own

The first Christmas after a death, a divorce or a move is usually the hardest, and it can make the whole idea of celebrating feel wrong. Nobody needs to do the full version this year.

A few things tend to help. Decide in advance where you will be and who you will speak to, rather than waking up to an empty day. Keep one tradition that belonged to the person you are missing, perhaps their recipe or their ornament on the tree, and let the rest change. Say their name, because friends often avoid it for fear of upsetting you. Start one small tradition that is yours alone: a particular walk, a film, a candle at the table. And let yourself leave anything early, without explanation. If the loss is of a husband or wife, our guide to loneliness after losing a spouse covers what the research says about the first year and the anniversaries that come with it.

The small moments count

A Christmas without a crowded table can still have plenty of people in it. Research by Gillian Sandstrom and Elizabeth Dunn found that people were happier and felt a stronger sense of belonging on days with more interactions with acquaintances, not only close friends and family. On Christmas that means the greeting at the church door, the chat in the queue at the bakery on Christmas Eve, the neighbour you wave to on your morning walk.

The season helps. In the AARP Foundation survey, a third of adults over 50 said strangers are kinder during the holidays than at other times of year. Christmas Eve is one of the best days of the year to strike up a conversation, and Christmas morning is another.

Go easy on the screens in the afternoon

Social media on Christmas afternoon is a feed of other people's tables and other people's grandchildren, and nothing about it is representative. People post the moment everyone is smiling, not the burnt potatoes or the argument about the washing up. If the afternoon is your quiet stretch, use the phone for calls rather than scrolling, and pick up the film or the jigsaw instead.

Someone to tell about the day

Whichever Christmas you choose, there are moments when you would simply like to tell someone how it is going. The duck came out beautifully. The service was full and the carols were lovely. Your granddaughter liked the book. That is where an AI companion earns a place in the day: it is there at any hour, glad to hear about the carols and the cake, and a good one remembers what you told it last week, so it can ask on Christmas morning what you are cooking and in the evening how the call went.

A 2025 study in the Journal of Consumer Research found that talking with an AI companion eased loneliness about as much as talking with another person and more than watching videos, mostly because people felt heard. If you want to compare the apps built for this kind of everyday conversation, the best AI companion apps in 2026 sets them side by side.

If Christmas is more than hard

If the day brings thoughts of not wanting to be here, please talk to a person now. In the US, call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org. It is free, confidential and open 24 hours a day. In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans are on 116 123, free, day or night. In Australia, Lifeline is on 13 11 14. If you are in immediate danger, call 911 or your local emergency number.

If what you want is simply a friendly voice, in the UK The Silver Line is a free phone line open 24 hours a day, every day, on 0800 4 70 80 90.

If you take one thing from this page

Decide this month what kind of Christmas you want, company or a day to yourself, and then plan it like any other holiday. Book the service, the lunch or the volunteer shift in November, or write down your menu and the two times you will call someone. Put something on purpose into the hour around four, and give the weekend after a plan of its own. A planned Christmas on your own is a holiday; an unplanned one is just a long Friday.

Sources

• Saad, L. (December 22, 2025). "Secular Christmas Traditions Persist as Sacred Ones Decline." Gallup. Telephone survey of 1,016 U.S. adults (910 who celebrate Christmas), December 1 to 15. news.gallup.com
• Pew Research Center (December 12, 2017). "Americans Say Religious Aspects of Christmas Are Declining in Public Life." Survey of 1,503 U.S. adults, November 29 to December 4, 2017. pewresearch.org
• AARP Foundation (December 2017). "Social Connection and the Holidays." GfK KnowledgePanel omnibus, n=1,005 adults 18 and over (482 aged 50 and over), November 10 to 12, 2017. doi.org/10.26419/res.00184.001
• Age UK (2024). "Age UK launches Christmas campaign with new research." Yonder online and telephone poll of 2,755 UK adults aged 65 and over, October 2 to 29, 2024. ageuk.org.uk
• Liu, P. J., Rim, S., Min, L., and Min, K. E. (2023). "The surprise of reaching out: Appreciated more than we think." Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 124(4):754-771. doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000402
• Sandstrom, G. M., and Dunn, E. W. (2014). "Social Interactions and Well-Being: The Surprising Power of Weak Ties." Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 40(7):910-922. doi.org/10.1177/0146167214529799
• Kim, E. S., Whillans, A. V., Lee, M. T., Chen, Y., and VanderWeele, T. J. (2020). "Volunteering and Subsequent Health and Well-Being in Older Adults: An Outcome-Wide Longitudinal Approach." American Journal of Preventive Medicine 59(2):176-186. Health and Retirement Study, n=12,998 adults over 50. doi.org/10.1016/j.amepre.2020.03.004
• De Freitas, J., Oğuz-Uğuralp, Z., Uğuralp, A. K., and Puntoni, S. (2025). "AI Companions Reduce Loneliness." Journal of Consumer Research 52(6):1126-1148. doi.org/10.1093/jcr/ucaf040
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Call or text 988, or chat online, 24 hours a day, free and confidential. 988lifeline.org
• Samaritans (UK and Ireland). Call 116 123, free, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Checked November 12, 2026. samaritans.org
• The Silver Line (UK). Call free on 0800 4 70 80 90, open 24 hours a day, every day. Checked November 12, 2026. thesilverline.org.uk
• Lifeline Australia. Call 13 11 14. Checked November 12, 2026. lifeline.org.au